F*ck Hope. This data helps to customize website content to enhance user experience. In 1972, he was arrested for violating obscenity laws after his infamous comedy sketch, 7 Words You Can Never Say On Television. That's what the owners count on; the fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes everyday. If you think too much, you will be left behind by everyone. That's against their interests. Fascism won it. ", 32. ", 65. "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. '", 123. Then youre just what theyre looking for. ", 26. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Scratch any cynic, and you will find a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. I firmly believe that if you vote, you have no right to complain. Two decades later, the anti-abortion movement hasn't really changed. The uuid2 cookie is set by AppNexus and records information that helps in differentiating between devices and browsers. A cookie set by YouTube to measure bandwidth that determines whether the user gets the new or old player interface. Simple thing. American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. This cookie is installed by Google Universal Analytics to restrain request rate and thus limit the collection of data on high traffic sites. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. Known for his lack of patience for bullshit, the comedian regularly skewered all politicians, the election of Donald Trump as president. George Carlin was one of the more popular and influential comics to emerge from the 1960s counterculture. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. This cookie, set by DataXu, tracks the advertisement report which helps to improve the marketing activity. "I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? What do you get at the end of it? And if somehow, you must join, if its unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. It will not be with jack-boots. ", 28. Laugh until you gasp for breath. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. The sp_t cookie is set by Spotify to implement audio content from Spotify on the website and also registers information on user interaction related to the audio content. ""The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. "Weather forecast for tonight: dark. "Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. ", 18. George Carlin gives him the finger from the grave. ", 105. You have no choice. I say: 'No no no,' because that really would be the kiss of death," Carlin said in his final interview before his death in 2008. Term limits ain't going to do any good; you're just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. "Forget the politicians. Whats that, a bonus? The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he embodied America's intellectual counter culture and provided sanctuary from the crisis of modernity. But once the child is born? I took his shoes. Men are insecure about the size of their dicks, and so they have to kill one another over the idea. Now I feel better. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". The people left of center were liberals; the people right of center were conservatives. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. You dont. He missed this one. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. What if I want to have a crappy day? If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent politicians, and they get into office and screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. 3. ""The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. Term limits aint going to do any good; youre just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. 03 Mar 2023 16:21:02 Bing Ads sets this cookie to engage with a user that has previously visited the website. They dont give a fuck about you. What we need is a king, and every now and then if the kings not doing a good job, we kill him. Trump did not fall to Earth from. "You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby . In the standup special, which premiered just three years before Carlin's death, the comedian claims that "the real owners are the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions." The _omappvs cookie, used in conjunction with the _omappvp cookies, is used to determine if the visitor has visited the website before, or if it is a new visitor. ""Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? As politicians and social media commentators weighed in on . He loves you, and He needs money! ALEX COHEN, host: Carlin died yesterday of heart failure. They own everything" "They've. ""Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. They own you. 2. George Carlin. StackAdapt sets this cookie as a Random Identifier for user identification, to display relevant advertisements. #AmericaWakeUp pic.twitter.com/vy2zz0j8DB, Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) July 26, 2020. This cookie is used for preventing the installation of third party advertiser or other cookies on the browser. "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. The cookie is used for storing the start and end of the user session for nielsen statistics. Deal with it. ", 106. "It helps to remember this.. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. "Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. 44. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. 'George Carlin - Life Is Worth LosingRecorded 5 Nov 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New YorkReleased: January 10, 2006Audio-visual content monetised by copyright claimant, MPI Media Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. Rubicon Project sets this cookie as an internal user identifier that stores user data to be used for analytics. George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. "Some people see the glass half full. Board Messages . Some critics felt that Ice Cube's willingness to work with Republicans signaled his support for Trump. You don't. You have no choice. If youre offended by foul language dont watch this f**king video. Cloudflare sets this cookie to improve page load times and to disallow any security restrictions based on the visitor's IP address. That's the problem. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. But He loves you. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. ", 46. Where are these people hiding? ", 58. From his infamous take on censorship with his NSFW "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" (which landed in the Supreme Court) to his nuanced rants on partisan politics and consumerism, Carlin not only made audiences laugh, but he challenged them to think independently and criticallyalbeit not entirely deliberately. They don't care about you at all -- at all -- at all. So they killed a lot of white English people in order to continue owning their black African people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people, in order to move west and steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow Japanese people. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. George Carlin. "I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. This cookie is used by Akamai to optimize site security by distinguishing between humans and bots. RLCDN sets this cookie to provide users with relevant advertisements and limit the number of ads displayed. "I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. There is actually a semi-important figure in American history who is named for a blow-job movie. At all. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. ", 51. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. ""This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. Learn how your comment data is processed. You throw out the first three commandments, wssst! "I was a loner as a child. ", 79. On July 26, a 2-minute video created by Pattern Integrity Films was published on YouTube, and it quickly took off via social media. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Owned by agkn, this cookie is used for targeting and advertising purposes. Its because volunteers work for no pay. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. LinkedIn sets the lidc cookie to facilitate data center selection. No president has done right by us. ", 117. They don't want to hear from you . And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. People are stupid because, well, people are stupid. And nobody seems to notice. These Politicians Don't Care About You At All The failures of people who supposedly represent the people Photo by Marco Oriolesi on Unsplash When people elect leaders in a democracy, the. It was during the waning of the Nixon years, where confidence in government was beginning its slide down to the Stygian depths where it rests today; the Vietnam War, and racial unrest, continued to rage on. "The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. In his 1996 HBO special Back in Town , the late comic legend and social critic George Carlin nailed the hypocrisy of social conservatives who rail against abortion and birth control with. "If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both f**ked. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent, civilized human beings in the 21st Century. Going after racists, sexists, fascists, and aiming to bring those who try to restrict freedom to justice. A Death! "I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' "I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. ", 109. This information is used to pick out ads delivered by the platform and assess the ad performance and its attribute payment. They own everything.. Ice Cube visits the "Sway in the Morning" show with Sway Calloway on Shade 45 at SiriusXM Studios on December 07, 2018, in New York City. If you're born in America you get a front row seat. I recall many years ago, when he was guest-hosting the Tonight show, George Carlin having a somewhat strained political conversation with the comedian Shelley Winters. Everybody complains about politicians. ", 14. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. "'Bipartisan' usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. Petras said shes glad the industry is finally catching on to her talent. ", 16. Answer (1 of 12): He was a liberal. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. I don't like cats. "I don't have pet peeves. This cookie, set by YouTube, registers a unique ID to store data on what videos from YouTube the user has seen. This cookie is used as a unique identifier for the BlueConic profile. ", 6. ", 66. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, Men are from Earth; women are from Earth. Carlin had 14 comedy specials, several published books and CDs, 5 Grammy awards, many TV and movie roles, and the title of being the first-ever host of Saturday Night Live, all under his belt. The truth is, we dont have people like that. ""You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? It doesn't matter what side you're on. Casale Media sets this cookie to collect information on user behavior, for targeted advertising. When a . "It's called the American dream . Carlins truth-telling about the influence of corporations in America and the willful blindness that allowed someone like Trump to assume power. Thats all it is. It seems only right. Amen and Awomen. Im tired of this shit. George Carlin, Never argue with an idiot. Keep your circle small. ""If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. There's a nice campaign slogan for somebody: 'The Public Sucks. This cookie is used by PwC to track individual visitors and their use of site. "Men are from. Ice Cube added the brief caption, "Facts.". This cookie is set by Rubicon Project and is used for recording cookie consent data. Enter your email address below then click "FOLLOW" to receive email notifications of new posts. His beliefs in fairness and equality in. Politics Notify me about new: Board Topics. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, its not the politicians who suck. It will be Nike sneakers and smiley shirts George Carlin, I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. George Carlin, I dont like ass kissers, flag wavers, or team players. Even sex has to be approached from, shall we say, a different angle to accommodate pain. ", 7. "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. (LogOut/ I just dont have as many people who believe it. George Carlin, Now, theres one thing you might have noticed I dont complain about: politicians. New evidence may suggest they don't and many voters are skeptical, too. ""Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. They dont want to hear from you. You're down to seven. This cookie store anonymous user idnetifier to determine whether a visitor had visited before, or if its a new visit. They own all the important land. George Carlin's 'Wake Up America' bit went viral in July 2020. ", 98. This cookie is used for advertising, site analytics, and other operations. If you can't beat someone, arrange to have beaten him. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, 'Why not?' CMPRO cookie is set by CasaleMedia for anonymous user tracking, and for targeted advertising. You have no choice. [] I look at war a little bit differently. On June 24, 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and ended a women's constitutional right to an abortion in the country. ", 120. "Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice? The late great stand-up, actor and occasional philosopher George Carlin was known to cross the lines of what polite society would call good taste, but he himself drew a few lines when it came. ", 68. This gif says it all: Carlins performance is being passed around on social media after a leaked draft opinion from the Supreme Court indicates that Roe v. Wade may soon be overturned, paving the way for abortion to be outlawed in parts of the nation. This cookie, set by PubMatic, is used to build a profile of user interests and to show relevant ads. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Chartbeat sets this cookie to store the original referrer for the site visitor. he was a conservative. And they all vote. They own everything. Then you live in an old age home. Its you. Everyones at the mall, scratching his balls and buying sneakers with lights in them. "Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. He always needs money! "Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers? "People are fucking nuts. "Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. - George Carlin. I prefer dogs, because dogs don't care. You voted them in. ", 24. Thell get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fuckin place. I'm f**kin' serious! On Sunday, the 29-year-old Angie revealed that not . You dont. Its you. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and not theyre coming for your Social Security money. The embattled gay representative has denied his drag persona, but these three performers have embraced her with comedic flair! When you leave them in the morning they stick their noses in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you return eight hours later. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence? George Carlin, If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? ", 42. ", 101. Its a subconscious need to project the penis into other peoples affairs. "People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. He was a regular on the "Ed Sullivan Show," but in the 1970s he became much better known for his irreverent . You can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy. Issued by Microsoft's ASP.NET Application, this cookie stores session data during a user's website visit. You don't. #AmericaWakeUp. ", 19. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails. And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. This cookie is used for storing country code selected from country selector. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. "My mother would say, 'Why are you always playing alone?' ""Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Full transcript of George Carlin's "Dumb Americans," excerpted from "Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO. But, he is wrong here. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. ", 74. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. ", 20. "Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to f**k.", 71. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, it's not the politicians who suck. "Electricity is really just organized lightning. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. ", 53. Determines whether the visitor has accepted the cookie consent box. Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. But this week, his voice has brought to life a new anti-Trump video called America Wake Up, created by a. Germany lost the Second World War. . 123 Rocky_Roku 1 yr. ago Didn't he say that he despised liberalism just as much as conservatism? ", 97. This information is then used to select advertisements delivered by the platform and measure the performance of the advretisement and attribute their payments. NID cookie, set by Google, is used for advertising purposes; to limit the number of times the user sees an ad, to mute unwanted ads, and to measure the effectiveness of ads. ", 4. Everything He ever makesdies. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. It's kind of bread-and-butter liberal (which during the counterculture 60s was pretty radical, but maybe not very en vogue with a younger crowd nowadays who are a bit more lefty). Now one of his most famous routines has swept the internet a dozen years after his death. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read. Theyre not interested in that. How do school teachers handle this? This cookie is set by Akamai. Teach them to question everything. "Governments don't want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. He was 71 years old. George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat. George Carlin, When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. ", 62. That is against their interests. They say, 'If you don't vote, you have no right to complain,' but where's the logic in that? Everybody's . George Carlin. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. A 2018 survey by the Pew Research Center reports that less than half the country says elected officials care what . RT @JamesMelville: "They own everythingThey don't care about youThey got you by the balls." ~ George Carlin He absolutely nailed it. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. It also helps for marketing automation solution for B2B marketers to track customers through all phases of buying cycle. This is the best we can do, folks. Broadly speaking. ""This country was founded by a group of slave owners who wanted to be. May 12, 1937 June 22, 2008. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. ", 34. I mean, life is tough. JIM STAFFORD. If youre pre-born, youre fine, if youre preschool, youre fucked.. ", 43. No neonatal care, no daycare, no Head Start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. No nothing. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. "People are wonderful one at a time. However, Ice Cube has endorsed neither Trump nor his Democratic rival, former Vice President Joe Biden. Your culture and entertainment cheat-sheet. What if puberty blockers are a kind of sex crime? The Onions fictional editor board asked in a mockery of The Times concern-trolling on trans issues. "I have lots of ideas. George Carlin was a comedian and social critic. We're all fucked," Carlin once said. Set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin, this cookie is used to record the user consent for the cookies in the "Advertisement" category . ", 87. "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. OK? This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Try spelling Evian backward. Then they would drink a lot of coffee.' ", 8. They own you. This cookie is set by Segment to count the number of people who visit a certain site by tracking if they have visited before. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. George Denis Patrick Carlin ( May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, singer, voice artist, and comedian, noted especially for his irreverent attitude and his observations on politics, language, psychology, and religion, as well as some taboo subjects. This cookie is set by the provider Akamai Bot Manager. AddThis sets this cookie to enable the visitors to share the web pages on social platforms via sharing buttons on the website. ", 45. Thats right. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. A provocative new photo shoot has the trolls losing their minds alongside the likes of Noel Gallagher, Bob Geldof, and Azealia Banks. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. The domain of this cookie is owned by Nielsen. This cookie is used for identifying the geographical location by country of the user. (LogOut/ Answer (1 of 16): He hated mostly all politicians. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. "If you cant say something nice about a person, go ahead. No nothing. ", 96. ", 100. Thats what the owners count on. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' And if they tell you youre not a team player, congratulate them on being observant. George Carlin. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. The __gads cookie, set by Google, is stored under DoubleClick domain and tracks the number of times users see an advert, measures the success of the campaign and calculates its revenue. ", 67. ", 88. They OWN YOU. "There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. ", 31. And nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care. '", 70. They dont give a fuck about you. "I have as much authority as the Pope. ", 77. "Bulls**t is truly the American soundtrack. This cookie is set by the provider Mixcloud. Ice Cube may be engaging in a political kerfuffle with Democrats following the news of his latest partnership with President Donald Trump's administration for the "Platinum Plan," but the rapper and actor is keen on letting his fans and followers know that he is not necessarily banding together with the government, despite what the past week of headlines might suggest. ", 114. Everybodys going to save something now. Religion is like a pair of shoes, you have to find the one that fits you. I'm used to dogs. He has written many books full of brutally honest sayings and jokes, like Brain Droppings, When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops?, Last Words, and more.
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