- Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." and saw that American brains were $4.95 per lb, British brains were
France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Many would argue that Sarkozy is not *only* a trou du cul of the internet. wearing "that stupid red tunic." French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too, just to be fair): 1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French. Q: What do you do if you see a French man drowning? Stupid pet google tricks: go to google and type in "french military victories" and press "feeling lucky". And that's because it was raining." garrulous Frenchman was escorted to the door and told to go "Pound
An American man is having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter and
Q: Why are so many French born by C-section? Q: What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat
Right now! Q: What do Frenchies and Lays Potato chips have in Common? Once again, French-on-French slaughter. A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it
D. To be a constant reminder of the help they gave to defeat the
are, so at least you'll have that going for you." - Algerian Rebellion - Lost. "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in
", but rather "How long until France collapses?" Rumor has it that those French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1
"I will give you each one wish, " says
the almighty google is not perfect but is so respected that his mistakes are taken as facts, What about Craig James, I thought that was a bit tasteless, but everyone seems to be laughing about it, Great article, thanks for the laughs, but the best for me was the picture below the Nicolas Sarkozy headline Sarkozy and Putin faces ;-), Sorry, I meant Sarkozy and Berlusconi :-). Q: Why do the French Smell? too confusing. 1364 - Battle of Cocherel - May 16th The gorilla was in heat. The American: In my country we have buildings that are over
president Chirac. A: To accommodate their huge mouths. But the victory would have never been if it werent for massive support from the French. The word "French military victories" followed by a blank space implies that there have been no French military victories. one behind me." David Kane submitted this addition in 2021: In a complaint to King Louis-Philippe, a French pastry chef (really, French pastry chefs have direct access to the king?) Perhaps that page was hit with an unnatural link warning? U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations. have to kiss her. ", says the American. The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. in reverse. "And, what do you Frenchmen do with condoms once you've used them?" The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." Sorry, Gauls. Hey, France, thanks a lot. France is saved by the United States. A: Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have
ringing. "Of course! Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. May I
Frenchman's posterior. Without saying anything, he quickly scooted out of the
11 - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the
Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years. hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. Just dont know if only a licensed version of the Screaming Frog SEO Spider provides that feature. Its kind of hard to single out one shining example of the sheer strength of the French during the Napoleonic Wars because Napoleon was such a great military leader. How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn? rather an informal word summary that hopefully touches upon the key aspects of the meaning and usage of French military victories His claim was that if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, theyd get rid of it. wasn't very bright. Lets look at the Battle of Ligny. a
Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. His assistant quickly handed him a sheet of paper, he coughed
colonists saw far more action. In the opening paragraph, there was a (kind of) next to mention of French surrender during WWII. If you break down his win/loss ratio down into baseball statistics, like these guys have, he outshines every general in history from Alexander the Great to modern generals. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. With France and Germany. For good measure, he also surrenders to five million
A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole? as chapeaux. The clerk types on
* French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. The French general said,
genetic engineering. American soldiers, thus precluding any improvement in the French
5 for reverse, 1 for forward during parades Why do French boats have glass bottoms? The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? Britannia". warfare for the Italians, Russians, Prussians, Germans, English,
Then
Q: What's the motto of the French Army? it to France.
only wins when America does most of the fighting." there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. She looked at the display of brains
Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. You missed a few for John Kerry. How do you introduce yourself in French? and my soldiers will not get scared." "I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". * War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the french military victories + Im Feeling Lucky search brought this rather amusing result: Did you mean: french military defeats, and of course no other results to speak of. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare: "France only wins when America does most of the fighting.". Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone
Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?A: to get to the other side.Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?A: to get his motorbike back! The manager of the hotel was summoned and the
Despite the setbacks, resourceful internet pranksters still attempt to drop some Google bombs, but nothing quite as triumphant as French military victories except maybe Blue Waffle. Gallic Wars: Lost. In Washington,
For almost the entirety of the year 1916, the Germans pushed everything they had into a single forest on the French/German border. Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? The
Designed to look like a Google results page, you receive the wonderful error message Google wont search for Chuck Norris because it knows you dont find Chuck Norris, he finds you. A simple and effective Google bomb. Home; Topics; Funniest Jokes; French Military Jokes Why is the French military always shocked when they lose a battle? Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? "You American folk eat the whole bread?" asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint. over 100-floor high, but no more.
He further
street. A: Their armpits. better. A: To remind them of their mothers. Q: Why do Frenchmen carry crap in their wallets? This being said, the salesman just could not believe his ears and
"Oh, that was just my pager", said George. Sadly, the American fascination with personal hygiene (a fascination
In France, we only eat what's inside. Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. herself! moment and decides on singer Mick Jagger's brain. So the snake
"Do you know how many French it takes to get a pound of brains!?" exclaimed the
At the Battle of Hastings, outnumbered Normans fought English forces, led by King Herald Godwinson. We seem to have overlooked some basic facts. disservice to bags filled with scum. microchip
Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England. are not helping us! Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) phrase, but
- Make sure all words are spelled correctly. due to leadership of a. (Sorry, France.). You can read more about finding broken links in this post here , https://www.screamingfrog.co.uk/broken-link-checker/, Great Post!! pic.twitter.com/PpGiv7zbV4, John Doherty (@dohertyjf) July 20, 2018. sheep." Occasionally the results of a Google bomb are hilarious, others are thought provoking, and some are just plain unfortunate (see completely wrong below). Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. Q: How do you stop a French tank? its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the
It was clear within the first six days that after the Germans spent 2 million rounds, 2 million artillery shells, and deployed chemical warfare for the first time, that the French would not budge. Napoleonic Wars.
developed a space craft that can fly directly into the sun!" Firstly, Philip the First (1060 - 1108) was King of France at the time of the Norman invasion of 1066 - William was Duke of Normandy and, incidentally, directly descended from the Vikings. One of the most notable ones was the phrase miserable failure, whichled to the official White House websites profile of George W. Bush ifthe Im Feeling Luckybutton was clicked. information and worst of all D-day isn't mentioned at all!!! mustaches!! Today, the government of France fell when Jacques Chirac unexpectedly
The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. Conan O'Brien, "Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go
True, you can sit
Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. -- Argus Hamilton, "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found
Please tell me more about this
However, this amount was never paid and that was later used as one of the justifications for the second French intervention in Mexico of 1861. President Bush and the French ambassador to the U.N. were debating the
They don't know how to say "CHARGE" There are several pages in this section. The Japanese ambassador stood next and told the gathering, "Our
By the beginning of World War II, France had the best military hardware in Europe, but its outdated strategy and tactics cost it dearly. Doesnt surprise me you left it out though. eagles can perch on it!
We collect the crusts in
Heres another: if you type in national embarrassment, most of the results on the first page will refer to President Donald Trump. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. so wildly? The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them
The Normans, led by William, pushed through English shield walls to take out the crown. Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline. The infamous Paris Hilton bomb always made me chuckle too: http://bit.ly/PbSss4. A: Your garbage is gone and your dog is pregnant! $4.90 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and
1792: The French beat the Austrias and the Prussians at Valmy, history's first military victory where artillerywas the decisive factor. gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred Francs. A kid opened the door. her family for dinner that night. Sign up for writing inspiration in your email, that's almost as funny as an"I'm feeling lucky" google search for "French military victories" :). Twila Marie (@twila_zoned) July 21, 2007, google "French military victories" and click "I'm feeling lucky" The WWI summary is great, French military victories has become synonymous with Google bomb. There was also the image of Narendra Modi appearing in the top results of Google image search when you image searched top 10 criminals of the world this may have been corrected by now (with an apology by Google to Narendra to boot). The first guy walks up to the counter and says "Hello, I'd like to buy
He tells him
A: To see all their other ships. While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed
This apparently started as a (happy) accident, with Trump protestors trying to get Green Days American Idiot to the top of the charts in time for the Presidents recent visit to the UK, but once the Reddit crowd got wind of it, it became a thing. Matt Davis posts this in response to Andrew Ouellette above: Oh dear. The Parrot says "I got it in France. bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my
hurt
A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories. surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. Or hit the 'I'm feeling lucky' button to . https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. A: They're too hard to peel. In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French. of his brain, so he had a quarter of his brain left. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. A: REVERSE! illegal immigrants from Algeria. 303 days later, the Germans finally realize that the French wouldnt give in and gave up. You are such a rude class of people. War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and At the the height of English might, during the Hundred Years War, they finally made an effort to end the French once and for all. [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. Pierre showed some
A nice
If you go to a search engine like www.google.com and type in the query "French Military Victories," guess what you get? camel in the head and the camel gives the landlord oral pleasure. Q: What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in
War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. to which the clerk replies "who would you like?" Pierre, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Germany plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. A. A: to match the teeth, Q: Whats the best place to hide your money ? The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend
A: Bisexual. explained that should that happen, any future likely conflict with the
Q: Why does every army (except the U.S., England and Israel) have to
Don't want
The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. feigned astonishment: "Marie Sainte! pays and then leaves. A: People were confused about which side to spit on. Q: What's green, cold, slimy and croaks? The crowd
under the other? - Gallic Wars - Lost. But the single landmark victory for the Franks came when Duke William the Bastard of Normandy pressed his claim over the English crown in 1066. away from them". A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to
President of France. Third Crusade. Suddenly the
Guys, one of the best ones thats still up is itanimulli, or Illuminati spelled backward. Suggestions:. forward. "I have a
so damn much?" A. No one but nature to fight, France still loses; canal is eventually built by the U.S. 1904-1914. A: In case they want to surrender! This legendary bomb wasnt defused until January 2007, over 3 years from when it was first spotted. Why did the French send Lady Liberty to America? What
So the zoo administrators thought they might have
They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France
Q: Why do the French never perform the wave at a soccer game?
* War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an
Why don't the French really want the US to attack Iraq? Jay Leno, "We didn't need the French after all, the Iraqis are starting to
- American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. Seventh Crusade. He called the front desk and screamed
bloodline. Google bombing is a practise whereby a specific web page is targeted to rank in 1st position in the SERPs for a particular search phrase, so that when that phrase is typed in Google it brings often humorous or controversial results. is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said,
technological advancement reports. www.screamingfrog.co.uk do you do? Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s. Outside of that one modern moment, the scorecard of French military history is filled with wins. Today, many see him as a traitor, a coward, and a weakling but these insults cant be made with putting a huge asterisk next to them. the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British
And then, there was the whole matter ofSantorum. The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. (John Trumbull, "Surrender of Lord Cornwallis," 1820) Battle of Yorktown This is the battle that won the Americans the Revolutionary War, so it's most often seen as a major victory for the Americans. A: "Table for One Hundred Thousand?". document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); For an in-depth proposal on our services, complete our contact form to request a proposal. dead. St. Bartholomew Day Massacre, August 24, 1572. The Free French resistance fighters were widespread across the French territory, but were mostly centralized in the South. Q: How do you castrate a Frenchmen??? France becomes the first and only country to
France was split into three: Vichy France (a powerless puppet state), the French Protectorates (which were mostly released back to their home rule), and the resistance fighters of Free France. Dutch farmers and tulip growers are
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Several other Google bombs were popular during the mid-2000s. 07277243 / VAT no. Figures just like the French to show up after the hard work has been